Everything Stands Back Up

by Nire Nah

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credits

released February 28, 2020

~ For Quincy ~

Lyrics and music by Nire Nah
Produced by Patrick Budde
Preserve Records 2020

Vocals, guitar, ukulele: Nire Nah
Keys and percussion: Patrick Budde
Strings: Caitlin Shantz
Bass: John Francis Klingle

"Except for Me" guest artists: vocal soloist Amy Stuenkel, guitar soloist Greg Firak, and the Sober Singers of Chicago

Special Thanks: Ted Han, Gillian Han, Fat Tabby, Tim & Val, Arnold Karr, Carmen Shantz, Danielle Levsky, Nire Nah's Patreon Supporters

Mixed & mastered at The Preservatory
Chicago, Illinois

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Nire Nah Chicago, Illinois

Influences include Joni Mitchell, Tori Amos, Aimee Mann, Rilo Kiley, Daniel Johnston, The Decemberists

Album Art by Nire Nah

Photo by Matthew Gregory Hollis

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Track Name: Don't Quit Before the Miracle Happens
I'm pretty sure I'll never write another song again
The consolation's I don't drink and I'm not a pothead
My biggest relapse trigger is a backwards president
And that's bigger than the monsters in my bed
But I'll make it, someone said

If they can, then I can
And if I do, then so will you

This is the chorus of a song that I can't write
I'll never sing it for the person who needs it
Because I want to die
This is the chorus of a song that I can't write
I'll just repeat it 'cause I feel so depleted
I can't think of a rhyme
It's the chorus of a moment in my life I will remember
Pain for pain and gain for gain

I'm pretty certain I'm a person you won't call a friend
The evidence is stacked against me, piles that don't end
My biggest obstacle right now is I'm made of shame
And that's how a coward never makes amends
But I'll make them all the same

If they can, then I can
And if I do... well it's up to you

This is the chorus of a song that I can't write
I'll never sing it for the person who needs it
Because I want to die
This is the chorus of a song that I can't write
I'll just repeat it 'cause I feel so depleted
I can't think of a rhyme
It's the chorus of a moment in my life I will remember
Pain for pain and gain for gain

I'm pretty scared that I've just shared too much and not enough
It's a familiar feeling I'm still getting the hang of
I wish I was smart, experienced, and tough
Like all the people right here that I love

Like all the people right here that I love
Track Name: Bathwater Babies
Perfect is a dirty word
People shout it from the safety of the sidelines all year
What about the learning curve
History repeats itself until the guidelines appear

This sick, it used to fit, but now it’s bigger than me
I’ve made it far enough to know I’m getting somewhere
We feast-or-famine folk began as bathwater babies
Our days drop off the calendar and we grow
Like fingernails and hair

A word of warning from one other to another
Nothing fades as fast as light
The voice of reason’s mute if you refuse to listen
Tell me how today is different
Tell me how today is different

Drunk on powerlessness as you wrestle mania
All set to quit before you start
Youth is cruel, nature threads you through the loom
Nothing gets you like the dark
Nothing gets you like the dark

This sick, it used to fit, but now it’s bigger than me
I’ve made it far enough to know I’m getting somewhere
We feast-or-famine folk began as bathwater babies
Our days drop off the calendar and we grow
Like fingernails and hair

She’s only twenty-two, I wish I knew what to do
I watched a bitter taste erase the smile from her face
That weapon in her hand has her thinking it’s her friend
When all is said and done, it’s no fun for anyone
Track Name: The Wounded Wheel
I wonder if one day we'll have any money
We laugh 'cause we have to, but one day
We'll laugh 'cause it's funny

Sure, I make predictions, I don't make decisions
I don't lead the band after all
And this megaphone makes me sound so small

I might as well try reinventing the wheel
What business have I telling time
Which wounds to heal

I wonder if ever the planet will turn
On an axis of evenness, each person given
A day when they'll smile for no reason

That's too much to ask, an electionless effort
'Cause no one is up for the task
So we're stuck throwing stones
From a house built of bones

I love my society, treat it like family
Wish I could tell it to tear itself free
From the talons of tyrants who tower like toddlers
Above every block they can seize, A to Z

I might as well try reinventing the wheel
What business have I telling time
Which wounds to heal

Still I'd like to think that we're perched
On the brink of enlightenment
If I catch a glint of it, what the hell
Might as well brighten it

And try telling time
Telling time how it's better spent
Track Name: Here Comes the Peace
Severing ties with a violent mind
And the restless lies that it amplifies
I’m absolving you of what you’ve been through
And forgiving me my reality, proclaiming

This is your destination, you have arrived
It’s time to go home, time to go home
Time to let go, time for the Om
It’s almost within reach

Here comes the peace, there go the foes
Everyone knows our gods are only our souls
I’ll nurture yours and you’ll nurture mine
And in this fashion, we’ll collapse and be fine

Finally, we’re a family
And our legacy is a world at ease
Understandably, there’s a history
But it’s nothing we can’t agree to cease, extolling

This is the conversation we have denied
It’s time to get known, time to get home
Time to let go, time for the Om
It’s almost within reach

Here comes the peace, there go the foes
Everyone knows our gods are only our souls
I’ll nurture mine and you’ll nurture yours
And by this virtue, we’ll avert future wars

No more noise, no more painful ploys
Let your inner voice echo out with joys
And acknowledgements of our best intents
See, I need your respect, and in turn you will get

All the love I can send

Here comes the peace
There go the foes
Everyone knows
Our gods are our souls

So here goes the Om
Track Name: Except for Me
Everybody is doing drugs except for me
Everybody is smoking blunts except for me
Everybody is getting drunk except for me
Everybody is having fun except for me

Everybody is doing drugs except for me
Everybody is smoking blunts except for me
Everybody is getting drunk except for me
Everybody is having fun except for me

Everyone’s out on the balcony
Talking at each other loudly
Everyone makes it look easy
Hands and mouths never empty

Because everybody is doing drugs except for me
Everybody is smoking blunts except for me
Everybody is getting drunk except for me
Everybody is having fun except for me

Everybody is doing drugs except for me
Everybody is smoking blunts except for me
Everybody is getting drunk except for me
Everybody is having fun except for me
Track Name: Anger Song
Until the rings outgrow the trees
Until the skyline is swallowed by the sea
Till the rain is burning and the deserts freeze
Until the bitter end, you’ll be angry

But once the anger’s over
We can love one another

You say you tease me because you like me
But more than likely it just pleases you to fight
Now I know exactly what you’re gonna say
You’ll give up everything to get your way

And once the anger’s over
We can love one another

I can only say I’m sorry so many times
Fear ascends, hope declines
And I just wanna sleep a little easier at night
There are rules in this life
That just won’t ever seem right

So I don’t follow, I walk beside
Invite the anger along for the ride
And rockabye that baby and let it yell
Until the bitter end, until it’s well

‘Cause once the anger’s over
We can love one another
Track Name: My Mind is Made Up
I think that maybe there's a chance
That I might just have started to decide something
I definitely feel decisive, time to take some action now
At least that's what I think

I've spent so many minutes of this life of mine
Invested in deliberating
Anticipation's painful, it's a lunatic's habit
But there's no shame in making a change

Call me crazy but I like the way the shoe fits
But am I insane to choose this
It's impossible to use it
But my mind is made up finally

I'm afraid I've got the answer to that
Pesky little question you keep sliding my way
I'm ready to reveal the reason
I'm so sure to find myself divided each day

I'm tired of the weight of it
The disappointing shade of it
The temperature and shape of it
There's nothing more to make of it
But my mind is my lifeline

Call me crazy but I like the way the shoe fits
But am I insane to choose this
It's impossible to use it
But my mind is made up finally

Finally

I'll get up off my ass eventually
Some misadventure must be meant for me
I'm not too far from certain
Let's see what's behind that curtain

Jump on three
One, two, three
Track Name: Prayer
Whatever I deserve
I hope the truth is kind
I only seem to learn
When all the points align

I honor my own worth
By finding my design
I pray to Mother Earth
I pray to Father Time

And everything I know
I learned from letting go
Everything I know
I learned from letting go

Everything I know
Everything I know
Everything I know
I'm letting go

I pray to Father Time
I pray to Mother Earth
I ask for peace of mind
That I might better serve

I make a list of rhymes
I churn the same old words
It's strange what you can find
While digging in the dirt

Like everything I know
I learned from letting go
Everything I know
I learned from letting go

Everything I know
Everything I know
Everything I know
I'm letting go

Mother Earth is brave
Father Time is wise
Mother, guide my aim
Father, dry my eyes

Some are here to stay
Some are here to die
I'm so glad I stayed
Thank you for this life

And everything I know
Track Name: Open Your Mouth
I don’t know about you
But here’s something I might do
I might start a coup
Start turning gold to blue
See I’m a painter
I’m not good with danger
But I’m drawn to failure

I might spoil the view
Claiming it can’t be true
Forget a few
Essential facts I knew
Upon a time once
And fill the silence
With tired nonsense

Blanket statement, self-abasement
Make my case and hit the pavement

But every time you open your mouth
To say something to somebody else
Whatever combination comes out
You never know who it’s going to help

Get well, get better, get well, get better
Get well, get better, get well

I don’t know about you
Or what you’re going through
I’m just a dude
Sitting across from you
Ready to listen
You have permission
That’s a given

Let’s say the truth’s
Only what we can prove
I’ve told a few
Stories I wanted to
I’m not a writer
I’m not a fighter
Wish I was brighter

Turn it over, tell me yours
I promise it’s been said before
And if it hasn’t, be the first
Hey, what’s the worst could happen

It takes an audience, it takes an interaction
So take a breath and take a beat
It takes a team to move the needle just a fraction

People like us
People who missed the bus
We get it wrong
If we’re alone too long
It’s nice to meet you
I used to be you
I’d like to feed you

Every time you open your mouth
To say something to somebody else
Whatever combination comes out
You never know who it’s going to help
Track Name: #1
Do I dare write a song about
The way it makes me feel
To know I won't run into you
Like I've wanted to

You're always on my mind
You're on everyone's mind
Can I buy you a coffee
Whatcha doin' tonight

You laughed when I said
Who to look out for
And what a laugh
What a laugh it was

You're number one in my book
Of long lost loves

Take it back, take it back
Take it all the way back
To the beginning of winter

I'd take a thousand winters
Over a spring like this
But I don't speak for you
Track Name: Stupid World
Ask me who I am
What I stand for, what’s my plan
I will answer

Ask me where I’m from
How I got here, what I’ve done
I’ll go numb

‘Cause I know the history
I know the origin
All the big finishes
All the unhinging
It’s why I was born

I won awards
And I went to Dartmouth
And I was an asshole
Right from the start
I hurt innocent people
And I got hurt back
Even on the defensive
You have to attack

And it’s a stupid world
Crying alone
For someone to hold it
Crying alone
It’s a stupid world

But I’m a smart girl
Or whatever I am
I stand with you
Howsoever I can

They don’t make it easy
It’s a dreadful disease
They take all the liberties
And lives that they please

And I buy my groceries
And I do my laundry
Talk to people who love me
Wonder why I’m this lucky

In a stupid world
Crying alone
For someone to hold it
Crying alone
It’s a stupid world

And it’s determined to burst
Hate and ignorance first
Can we keep our eyes open
Without seeing the worst

It’s already a short life
You don’t have to shoot
Who lobotomized you
Gave you something to prove

Are you so unaware
Pain is something we share
And this blood in the air
Doesn’t have to be there

I was only an asshole
Till I learned compassion
We make these mistakes
And we don’t learn the lesson

Start paying attention
Or paying the price
You don’t have to be right
But it pays to be nice

And not be a murderer, not be a rapist
And not be a hater, and not be a racist

It should’ve been easy
I don’t understand
Why you came to the party
With weapons in hand

And it’s a stupid world
Crying alone
For someone to hold it
Crying alone
It’s a stupid world

And it twirls and twirls
Track Name: Waiting on Better Times
You sat down in your hospital gown
While the sickly fluorescents all flickered
Expectantly, ready for action

Knee-deep in sleep
Every night of the week
Is no way to turn grey
Every day is a waste in this place

Have we been here before
Just an hour ago
Should we keep better score
Taking notes as we go
So as not to mistake our missteps
For the worst of our crimes
It’s astonishing what one forgets
Waiting on better times

So you picked up this magical book
As if it held the secrets you needed
To feel you’d succeeded at something

But all it contains
Are some partial refrains
And remains of the day
And you’re wasting away in this place

Have we been here before
Just an hour ago
Should we keep better score
Making notes as we go
So as not to mistake our missteps
For the worst of our crimes
It’s astonishing what one forgets
Waiting on better times

Tell your mother that you love her
Tell your lover there’s no other
Tell the truth to your reflection
And listen to your children

Better times are around the corner
They just happen out of order
So it’s patience we become
Breathing life in through our lungs

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